This crazy birthing business!

Wow, it's been 2 weeks since I posted! They've been busy ones. Dave moved in. Jack came to visit. I went on a women's retreat with church in the Poconos and had an awesome time (and meant to post the photos, but haven't yet taken them off the camera). Evenings out with friends. Exhausted. I'm back to needing 10-11 hours of sleep a night and am quite cranky if I don't get them.

I did find out that I passed my glucose test with flying colors, and my weight gain, while up the 2nd trimester, has evened out - so I figure that means I can eat anything as much as want with no repercussions? :) I thought I had found some good knock-off Red Hots at the local candy store. They ended up being WAY overpriced and did NOT taste cinnamony - just like wax and corn syrup with a little cinnamon flavour. Yuck.


So I finally got around to watching The Business of Being Born the other day. Wow. Awesome and scary. Jason was doing bills but ended up turning around to watch most of it and was glad he did - he's glad I'm taking such an interest in the birthing process and now totally understands why I'm so against using medication and having any intervention done unless absolutely medically necessary. I know it will hurt (I mean, duh!), but women have been doing it for a few thousand years, and honestly it scares me more to have them do things to me that aren't needed and to treat me as a number and not a woman whose body knows what to do. The cycle of epidural (pain relief via needle in the spine) -> pitocin (labour-inducing drug) -> more epidurals -> more pitocin -> baby in distress -> c-section occurs way too often for my comfort, and I trust my body more without drugs than if I'm numb from the waist down, trying to push.

So this morning I saw my doctor and had a list of questions I'd printed out from the TBOBB website. I'd already told him I want no drugs and a doula, which he agreed I should have if it helps me through the process. And he doesn't do episiotomies unless absolutely necessary, but he said he honestly can't remember the last time he did one. Whew.

The other questions I had were:

Me: When would you like me to come to the hospital?
Dr: When you've been having contractions consistently at 5 minutes apart or your water breaks, but it will really be up to you and how long you think you might want to wait.

Me: What are your protocols regarding inducing labour?
Dr: Well, if you want to induce labour at any time, we can do that. It just depends on if you get to the point that your baby is just too big or if you're done being pregnant. However, if you want to let nature take its course, that's perfectly fine, too. There are different philosophies and it depends on what you're most comfortable with. I would say about 30-50% of women end up using pitocin; their uterus needs help or their membranes have been ruptured too long. You do have the right not to and I can tell you what risks may be involved.

Me: Am I required to get an IV?
Dr: Unfortunately, yes. Just in case some emergency arises. I've seen it happen too often where someone gets dehydrated or is in such distress it's too difficult to get a line in, so it's much easier to just do it when you come into the hospital. We can put a lock on it, though, so you're not attached to any machines and can move around.

Me: What is your c-section rate? I saw on the NYU website that theirs is 29.9%.
Dr: Mine is about 10-20%. One thing you have to account for is the fact that in a city like this you have a very diverse population including obese patients, those with diabetes, drug users, etc., and so the rate is going to be higher than, say, rural Iowa. And then of course things happen where the baby is in distress, or perhaps a woman's pelvis can only deliver an 8 lb. baby when a baby is 10 lbs [I'm not too worried about this - I think my hips are equipped to handle a larger baby!] I know that there are some doctors who are bias and not looking at medical reasons for doing c-sections. I mean, studies have shown that there are certain peak hours that they take place, like at 6PM on a Friday night, but I definitely wouldn't do that [another fact from TBOBB was that 4PM and 10PM are when the most c-sections occur - just before dinner or when doctors are just tired and want to go home to sleep.]

Me: Will I be able to choose the position in which I give birth?
Dr: (Smiling) I'd be interested in seeing the data supporting different ones. I can tell you the biomedical support for various positions.
Me: I just want to make sure I'm not forced to be flat on my back pushing it out.
Dr: Well, it's a hospital, not a prison!

Me: And just out of curiosity, how many people do you have due around my date of January 19th? [I actually asked this one because I'm curious how crowded the hospital's going to be; I don't know that we can afford a private room, but I don't know how well I'll handle being in a room with another mother and her baby for two nights - but I didn't go into that with the doctor.]
Dr: Well, in a practice like this where we're mostly serving gynecological patients as opposed to obstetric patients [I think those are the terms he used, or something closely related], we tend to have lower numbers of women giving birth. Most months I only have about five or six women due, and even if another woman is in labour the same time as you, you don't have to worry that the baby will drop at the same time - it hasn't happened in my two years here.

Me: OK, I think that's it for now.
Dr: Did I pass?
Me: Yes, you did. :)

So even though I would prefer to have a home water birth with a midwife (our place is just too small, I think), I feel like my doctor is sympathetic to my concerns and needs. He got a tad defensive as I was asking him questions (but I'm sure he's been attacked by hormonal, NYC women before, and that's put him somewhat on edge with lists of questions like this), but he's got a very calming voice and way about him that makes me trust him. The thing that I most appreciated was how much he told me it was my decision on how to proceed. I will be thankful to have a doula there. We can't afford to hire a seasoned one, only a newbie doula (on average in this city it's $500 for one that's been to less than six births, $800-1000 for up to 15-20 births, and then much more than that for one that's been around and seen it all), but I trust that she'll have adequate training and can help me and Jason determine if something truly is medically necessary, or if they're trying to use scare tactics (they know that a woman will most want to protect her child, so the easiest way to get her to comply is by saying "it's for the good of the baby"). And, in the end, it's the law that will allow me to deny any treatment I don't want, so if some nurse comes at me with pitocin and I say "heck no!", she has to legally comply. But again, I will do everything for the good of the baby, and to keep myself as healthy as possible (I already had a staph infection and colonitis this past year, I'm good, thank you very much) - that's what it's all about.

New Registry and Doctor's Visit

So we decided we much prefer a crib that we found at Target.com.



I was already thinking of starting a 2nd registry there because some things are less expensive. They also just updated the Babies R Us site, so it looks better but is often down, and takes way to long to load pages, so I always have to have another window up to be reading or doing something. Grr. So I'm still finishing up both registries, but it's fun to explore.

And I had a doctor's visit yesterday. I had the glucose test done to see if I might have gestational diabetes - should find out tomorrow if I have to go in for the 2nd, 3 hour test. Unfortunately I had called ahead of time to see if I needed to fast for a while beforehand, since my appointment was in the evening, and was told no. And so I ate gummy worms and my boss walked by and laughed and said "yeah, you're going to fail it." Oh well.

I do really love my doctor. I finally got to ask him more questions: would he be ok with a doula in the room? Yes, anything to make me feel more comfortable. Does he do episiotomies (which I do not want - I want to go as natural as possible)? No, not unless it's completely medically necessary, but he doesn't remember the last time he did one - it heals better even if you just tear a bit. And he's just very gentle and kind and I feel safe with him. He also did a quick ultrasound (he does one every visit), and baby looks good. Placenta still looks like it's a bit low (a little placenta previa), but in four weeks I go in for another "big" ultrasound at the professional ultrasound place (more 3D photos!). I'm also supposed to start counting kicks - when I concentrate on it I should be feeling 10 movements in 90 minutes. So far not a problem, nothing I'm worried about yet!

So now, rather than find a midwife (my original mission, until I realized how much I love my doc), I'm going on the hunt for a good doula, just to help during labor so I can hopefully avoid the drugs!

Belly shots!

All right, finally found the camera cord and can post belly shots of recent days, in my 26th week of pregnancy:

Bedroom sets

I got an email last night that the original bedroom decor, "Giggles", I'd been wanting, is now in stock, so I jumped on it and ordered the bedding set, valances, and diaper stacker.


However, if I get them and decide it doesn't look right (and I have 3 months to do so, which is lovely), I'll go with the 2nd set I fell for, which is more expensive but organic, called "Kids Line Bunny Meadow".

It will look a bit different, though, as the crib we've chosen is white. For some reason they don't make this particular crib (which is convertible to a toddler bed) in a nice brown color that also has a matching changing table ; to get the set it's either white or black, and white just works better with the bedding.



So I guess we've just made our first major purchases in the bedding and accessories. I'm excited to get the room decorated, but also OK to wait, as we'll have a 30-year-old man moving into that room next week for a couple of months. Of course he knows it'll still be storage for cute, snuggly, baby goods, but I don't want to overwhelm the poor guy just yet. :)

The joys of registering

If you walked by me now, you'd probably laugh at how bleary-eyed I am - at least one guy did when he said "good night!" and it took a good 30 seconds to respond. That's because I'm still working on registering for baby at Babies "R" Us, and I couldn't possibly be more overwhelmed!

Actually, that's not true, because I was on Sunday when Jason and I went to register. When we arrived, we were one of maybe 4 or 5 couples in the process of filling out our forms and getting the info needed, but we were taken care of pretty quickly by the very knowledgeable and friendly registrar - were up and about in 10 minutes or so. Checkout took much, much longer, though, with many customers complaining that the one, less friendly and competent registrar, was taking too long. It was at least 20-30 minutes once we sat down, and if you know New Yorkers, particularly pregnant, hormonal New Yorkers stuck in a crowded and overheated store, they don't take that kind of thing quietly (we were probably the most patient, though I was on the verge of tears a few times). Otherwise we spent 2 hours walking around the more-crowded-than-last-time store (though we knew it would be a long and painful process), trying to at least figure out our bigger items. Sadly, as a child of the Internet age, I wanted to read the reviews on many things (breast pumps, toys, etc), before scanning. Some things I scanned though I wasn't sure I loved, and later deleted. And really, we only got through maybe 1/6th of the list before I almost had a meltdown and was too lightheaded and nauseous to continue, and my wonderful husband told me we just needed to go because I was too overwhelmed and nearly crying (of course this was followed by the long checkout).

We think we have most of our major purchases picked out. The only question being the bedding set. We'd had one that was pale green and brown and retro that I loved, but found another that is pale green and brown that is organic with bunnies that I love a tiny bit more. Unfortunately, neither set is currently available online, so pretty much whichever makes it first will probably be the one we go for. The crib we chose is tall and inexpensive, but converts into a toddler bed later on. And the stroller we chose is definitely the most expensive item, but will in essence be our "car" for baby. It's a Maclaren, which I was told is the only stroller to consider in NYC as it's lightweight with a strap (I have about a 3-story walk up to the subway where we live), and though we could've gone with the cheaper version, this is the only one approved from birth to 55 lbs. (the others were all 3 mos. plus, and I don't want to have to rely only on a sling and backpack during that time whenever we go out, particularly with my back and neck problems), and comes with 3 different reversible pads, as well as a foot muff (much needed as I'm due in January), and rain cover. We also went with the least expensive, yet highest reviewed car seat. It almost seems a waste since the only time we'll need a car seat really is when we leave the hospital (it's illegal to leave without one), and Jason suggested borrowing one from someone. But I'm just thinking it will be better in case of emergency to have our own - for instance if we have to run to the hospital or back and need the seat.

So the rest of this week I'll spend "finalizing" (I have to put that in quotes because obviously it's going to change over and over until baby actually arrives) the registry; I've just spent the last 5 hours or so between work figuring out various apparel and safety products, and definitely still have a ways to go. I know some people are frustrated that we don't know the sex but it's really not that hard. Lots of natural colors, meaning whites, creams, browns, greens, yellows, and blues. I am avoiding pink, though, as I just can't do that to a little boy (and I'm still 60+% sure that it actually is a boy).

Honestly we're not expecting anything to actually be purchased for us (although I am doing a secret stork, that is, secret Santa, with the women on one of my pregnancy message boards). Anything we get would be a blessing, but I can't honestly tell if we'll have a shower or not (one of the single men in our church community group got all excited about it, and thinks they should have one for us; he asked if they could bring beer, which I think is hilarious, though!), being that most of my family and several of my closest friends are in Seattle, California, or the Chicagoland area. The registry will be a great guide for us, though, and we'll somehow figure it out.

When it comes down to it, though, we'll probably go with Jason's rule of thumb: "if it wasn't around when we were babies, then we don't need it, because I think we turned out OK!"