Things are coming together

This weekend we finally met with the doula I'd been hoping to hire. Her name is Danelle Brown and I'm so excited to have chosen her! She's a designer, specializing in green living, but has recently become certified with DONA. She seems very knowledgeable and will be a warrior (self-described, before I even told her that was something I really desired!) in the hospital for me when anyone tries to come at me with any drugs or convince me that something is "for the good of the baby" when, in actuality, it's better for the hospital and staff. She did actually read up on NYU and found that they have pretty good (meaning less) c-section rates. Jason feels comfortable with her, as well, which is just as vital, since I want him to be as much a part of this as can be (meaning he'll be feeling the pain... as I throw angry words and anything within reach at him! No, hopefully Danelle can help keep me under control and play defense if need be:)). Another great thing is she lives only about eight blocks away from us (how crazy is that in a city this big?!) and will be bringing by books and DVDs (including Orgasmic Birth, crazy name, I know, but I've been wanting to see it), and she can get to me fast when I actually go into labour (or, should I say, when contractions get to be around eight minutes apart - the first part of labour can go a loooong time and we all agree it would be really great just to have the two of us, Jason and I, for the first part). She will try to bring a back-up for our next meeting this weekend, just in case, and we'll be putting together our birth plan and knocking out more logistics, etc.

I've decided I'm pretty much done with my registries at Target and Babies"R"Us. There's probably more that can be done, but I'll just be fine-tuning things from here on out.

I've been feeling a little down because I don't know if I'll be having a baby shower. Self-pity is so unflattering, but being pregnant, I'm feeling like the center of the world these days (as most pregnant women can attest to feeling). Some of the people in our church community group may throw one for us, but time is quickly running out with the holidays at hand, so Jason and I may just have a house-warming/crib-warming party in the coming weeks. As of right now we have 3 things for baby: a bed set, a diaper bag my friend Mae sent and a pair of booties my mom sent. So if baby comes today we can wrap it in the bed set, put booties on its feet, and carry it home in the diaper bag. :) I did notice Babies"R"Us is having a sale tomorrow, so hopefully I can knock some stuff off the list. We're also praying that Dave finds a new apartment soon so that we don't have to kick him out (he's working crazy long hours for overtime and I know he doesn't want to burden and will probably be out before we even ask, such a sweet man!) and can get the baby's room ready during Christmas week.

One bright spot is that my best girlfriend Kelsye may make it out in February!!! I don't know when any of the moms will be able to come, which breaks my heart a bit (but they've all got so much going on in their lives and very valid reasons for not being able to make it right away). But to have Kelsye make it would be so beautiful. She'll get to be one of the first of people we've known for more than two-and-a-half years to see our little lanky, pasty white babe.

Neil's the Man!

My best girlfriend Kelsye knows I love Neil Diamond. Lord knows how I tortured her on my 16th birthday when she spent the night, I put his admittedly bad remake of Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen on repeat, and went off to get ready for the day, leaving her with the song for, I don't know, a good hour. Of all the things I've done to her, that may be one of the few she'll never forgive me for! So now it's become sort of a thing that she teases me about, but I know she finds it endearing. This weekend I received for my birthday from her an original Japanese poster from Neil's only starring role in a movie, The Jazz Singer. Probably one of the most creative birthday gifts ever!



So now we've decided to start up a "rock and roll" kitchen again, like we had when living in Seattle. That one was plastered with posters, particularly since Jason worked at Tooth and Nail and we had easy access to all we wanted. This one will be more upscale. I'm off to buy a poster frame right now!

Knock-knock!

My new favorite thing to do at the end of a long, stressful day, is to lay half on my back with my shirt pulled up and my feet up on the ottoman and play knock-knock with Baby P. In the last week he (I mainly say "he" just because it's easier and I still have a strong feeling, as do most of my friends, that it's a boy) has been very, very active. After last week's doctor visit (I'm up to seeing him every two weeks now!) and getting the quick ultrasound, I know that the head is down and angled towards my right side and he's got his legs crossed so his feet are up by my ribs/stomach these days. That means I can poke him around where his knees or feet are, or his head (although I feel like I'm pushing in his face), and get a reaction. I can almost hear a whiny voice saying "Mooooom, stop poking me!". The weirdest thing is when I my whole belly shifts as he rolls over, or does something to that effect. And this morning when I woke up my belly was noticeably bulging on the right side over the left. He's definitely found my ribs so I do my best to shake my belly around and get him to shift, but generally it doesn't work but get him more active, kicking up a storm. I find it mostly amusing, though. He also gets hiccups which is funny. In fact, I think he's got some right now... or else he's responding to the peanut butter and chocolate ice cream I just ate.

And apparently I'm looking pretty small. I'd much prefer that over looking as though I'm ready to pop! I'm just at six-and-a-half months and some people can't believe that. The big boss of our company, on leaving last night, commented that I must be eating healthy because I look really good (I myself was expecting to blow up like a balloon or at least get a fat face, which hasn't happened yet, thanks be to God!). I started laughing at that; everyone else that walks by and sees my eating habits knows what a joke that is!

Fall festivities!

Last weekend was Halloween and my birthday. Two parties in one weekend - unheard of these days for me! (And, for more photos of the event, including some of the Apostles Church women's retreat in the Poconos, click here.)

Friday night for Halloween we took the train with our friend Julie , whose husband Chris is out with his band on tour for a month, down to Bushwick in Brooklyn for a party with several of our church peeps. Julie was up for two nights working on her peacock costume, and I finally decided to go as a pregnant cat (painted the nipples and sewed them onto the top and painted the mask myself), while Jason went as the cat burgler who burgled me... get it? We had a great time (gooood food) and the costumes were a hit! I made it almost to 11:30PM before we called a car back to Astoria, and was wiped the following morning.






On my birthday Jason took me to an awesome brunch at what will likely become one of our constant haunts in Astoria, Sparrow, before I went and watched some of my shows I'd needed to catch up on and then crashed until it was time to head out. He'd managed to keep it a secret, though I was pretty sure he'd take me out to have tapas (my favorite food!) and sure enough, he took me to Pipa in the Flatiron district, where we met up with some friends.







I hadn't been expecting anything from Jason, as we're finally getting iPhones next week (our contract with Verizon is about to expire and our old phones are hanging by a thread, as is). Marilyn, an amazing artist whose been showing quite a bit around town and whose work I'd been wanting to purchase for a while, brought with her a large painting and mentioned she had a show up the street. "Oh, so you're taking that over tonight" I said, knowing that she wouldn't couldn't possibly gift me with such a large piece (and she'd already given me a couple awesome books). After running to the bathroom Jason was standing up saying "happy birthday!". I looked at him quite confused as he pointed across the table (I wasn't wearing my glasses so it was hard to see) and finally after much explanation (I'm a bit of an airhead these days!) I learned the piece that had been unveiled was his big gift to me! (FYI I wanted to steal a shot of it from Marilyn's website, but if you visit it here you can see it's the 2nd one down on the "Painting" page, titled "Field", and now hangs quite happily in our bedroom, on the wall I didn't know what to do with!

So far 30 is great. I had been anxious to get out of my 20s - the first many years of it were full of immaturity and uncertainty and I look back on with embarassment. The last few were when I'd met the love of my life (going on 5 years ago - we met when I was 25 and now I'm 30!) and married the man, and have held many struggles and pains (particularly physical on my part). Now we start a family together and I'm so anxious to see what the next decade brings!

This crazy birthing business!

Wow, it's been 2 weeks since I posted! They've been busy ones. Dave moved in. Jack came to visit. I went on a women's retreat with church in the Poconos and had an awesome time (and meant to post the photos, but haven't yet taken them off the camera). Evenings out with friends. Exhausted. I'm back to needing 10-11 hours of sleep a night and am quite cranky if I don't get them.

I did find out that I passed my glucose test with flying colors, and my weight gain, while up the 2nd trimester, has evened out - so I figure that means I can eat anything as much as want with no repercussions? :) I thought I had found some good knock-off Red Hots at the local candy store. They ended up being WAY overpriced and did NOT taste cinnamony - just like wax and corn syrup with a little cinnamon flavour. Yuck.


So I finally got around to watching The Business of Being Born the other day. Wow. Awesome and scary. Jason was doing bills but ended up turning around to watch most of it and was glad he did - he's glad I'm taking such an interest in the birthing process and now totally understands why I'm so against using medication and having any intervention done unless absolutely medically necessary. I know it will hurt (I mean, duh!), but women have been doing it for a few thousand years, and honestly it scares me more to have them do things to me that aren't needed and to treat me as a number and not a woman whose body knows what to do. The cycle of epidural (pain relief via needle in the spine) -> pitocin (labour-inducing drug) -> more epidurals -> more pitocin -> baby in distress -> c-section occurs way too often for my comfort, and I trust my body more without drugs than if I'm numb from the waist down, trying to push.

So this morning I saw my doctor and had a list of questions I'd printed out from the TBOBB website. I'd already told him I want no drugs and a doula, which he agreed I should have if it helps me through the process. And he doesn't do episiotomies unless absolutely necessary, but he said he honestly can't remember the last time he did one. Whew.

The other questions I had were:

Me: When would you like me to come to the hospital?
Dr: When you've been having contractions consistently at 5 minutes apart or your water breaks, but it will really be up to you and how long you think you might want to wait.

Me: What are your protocols regarding inducing labour?
Dr: Well, if you want to induce labour at any time, we can do that. It just depends on if you get to the point that your baby is just too big or if you're done being pregnant. However, if you want to let nature take its course, that's perfectly fine, too. There are different philosophies and it depends on what you're most comfortable with. I would say about 30-50% of women end up using pitocin; their uterus needs help or their membranes have been ruptured too long. You do have the right not to and I can tell you what risks may be involved.

Me: Am I required to get an IV?
Dr: Unfortunately, yes. Just in case some emergency arises. I've seen it happen too often where someone gets dehydrated or is in such distress it's too difficult to get a line in, so it's much easier to just do it when you come into the hospital. We can put a lock on it, though, so you're not attached to any machines and can move around.

Me: What is your c-section rate? I saw on the NYU website that theirs is 29.9%.
Dr: Mine is about 10-20%. One thing you have to account for is the fact that in a city like this you have a very diverse population including obese patients, those with diabetes, drug users, etc., and so the rate is going to be higher than, say, rural Iowa. And then of course things happen where the baby is in distress, or perhaps a woman's pelvis can only deliver an 8 lb. baby when a baby is 10 lbs [I'm not too worried about this - I think my hips are equipped to handle a larger baby!] I know that there are some doctors who are bias and not looking at medical reasons for doing c-sections. I mean, studies have shown that there are certain peak hours that they take place, like at 6PM on a Friday night, but I definitely wouldn't do that [another fact from TBOBB was that 4PM and 10PM are when the most c-sections occur - just before dinner or when doctors are just tired and want to go home to sleep.]

Me: Will I be able to choose the position in which I give birth?
Dr: (Smiling) I'd be interested in seeing the data supporting different ones. I can tell you the biomedical support for various positions.
Me: I just want to make sure I'm not forced to be flat on my back pushing it out.
Dr: Well, it's a hospital, not a prison!

Me: And just out of curiosity, how many people do you have due around my date of January 19th? [I actually asked this one because I'm curious how crowded the hospital's going to be; I don't know that we can afford a private room, but I don't know how well I'll handle being in a room with another mother and her baby for two nights - but I didn't go into that with the doctor.]
Dr: Well, in a practice like this where we're mostly serving gynecological patients as opposed to obstetric patients [I think those are the terms he used, or something closely related], we tend to have lower numbers of women giving birth. Most months I only have about five or six women due, and even if another woman is in labour the same time as you, you don't have to worry that the baby will drop at the same time - it hasn't happened in my two years here.

Me: OK, I think that's it for now.
Dr: Did I pass?
Me: Yes, you did. :)

So even though I would prefer to have a home water birth with a midwife (our place is just too small, I think), I feel like my doctor is sympathetic to my concerns and needs. He got a tad defensive as I was asking him questions (but I'm sure he's been attacked by hormonal, NYC women before, and that's put him somewhat on edge with lists of questions like this), but he's got a very calming voice and way about him that makes me trust him. The thing that I most appreciated was how much he told me it was my decision on how to proceed. I will be thankful to have a doula there. We can't afford to hire a seasoned one, only a newbie doula (on average in this city it's $500 for one that's been to less than six births, $800-1000 for up to 15-20 births, and then much more than that for one that's been around and seen it all), but I trust that she'll have adequate training and can help me and Jason determine if something truly is medically necessary, or if they're trying to use scare tactics (they know that a woman will most want to protect her child, so the easiest way to get her to comply is by saying "it's for the good of the baby"). And, in the end, it's the law that will allow me to deny any treatment I don't want, so if some nurse comes at me with pitocin and I say "heck no!", she has to legally comply. But again, I will do everything for the good of the baby, and to keep myself as healthy as possible (I already had a staph infection and colonitis this past year, I'm good, thank you very much) - that's what it's all about.

New Registry and Doctor's Visit

So we decided we much prefer a crib that we found at Target.com.



I was already thinking of starting a 2nd registry there because some things are less expensive. They also just updated the Babies R Us site, so it looks better but is often down, and takes way to long to load pages, so I always have to have another window up to be reading or doing something. Grr. So I'm still finishing up both registries, but it's fun to explore.

And I had a doctor's visit yesterday. I had the glucose test done to see if I might have gestational diabetes - should find out tomorrow if I have to go in for the 2nd, 3 hour test. Unfortunately I had called ahead of time to see if I needed to fast for a while beforehand, since my appointment was in the evening, and was told no. And so I ate gummy worms and my boss walked by and laughed and said "yeah, you're going to fail it." Oh well.

I do really love my doctor. I finally got to ask him more questions: would he be ok with a doula in the room? Yes, anything to make me feel more comfortable. Does he do episiotomies (which I do not want - I want to go as natural as possible)? No, not unless it's completely medically necessary, but he doesn't remember the last time he did one - it heals better even if you just tear a bit. And he's just very gentle and kind and I feel safe with him. He also did a quick ultrasound (he does one every visit), and baby looks good. Placenta still looks like it's a bit low (a little placenta previa), but in four weeks I go in for another "big" ultrasound at the professional ultrasound place (more 3D photos!). I'm also supposed to start counting kicks - when I concentrate on it I should be feeling 10 movements in 90 minutes. So far not a problem, nothing I'm worried about yet!

So now, rather than find a midwife (my original mission, until I realized how much I love my doc), I'm going on the hunt for a good doula, just to help during labor so I can hopefully avoid the drugs!

Belly shots!

All right, finally found the camera cord and can post belly shots of recent days, in my 26th week of pregnancy: