The old wives' tales begin...

So when I was seeing the neurologist today, the lady at the front desk asked me how far along I was. Then she asked if I was having a boy or a girl. First of all, I'm extremely sick of this question already - WE AREN'T GOING TO FIND OUT! Sometimes I long for the days where there was no option of knowing, but then I suppose every stranger asked "so what are you hoping for, a boy or a girl?" or whatever else strangers decide to ask/tell a pregnant lady. I told her we don't know and she looked at me with a set face and said "oh, you are having a boy". I'm like "really." She says "of course, you're face isn't swollen - with a girl it swells up" (although honestly, I am waiting for my face to get fat - I just assume it's gonna happen). But then she has me stand back from the tall desk to look at my belly, and sees that rather than being basketball-like, it kind of goes out at the top, straight down, and back in at the bottom. She suddenly looks confused and says "oh... but your belly looks like a girl!" Apparently boys are supposed to be round, girls are flat. All I know is, this is only the beginning...

In other news, going to look at our first open house apartment this evening. It's at the upper end of our price range and not exactly where we want to live. Unfortunately we'll be in Jamaica during prime hunting season, but I trust God to take care of us. At least tonight we can walk the area a bit and see what a $2K 2-bedroom looks like in Astoria, Queens, and have a nice meal, most likely at a Greek restaurant (we went from the Polish neighborhood, to the yuppie neighborhood we can no longer afford, and now to the Greek neighborhood).

Aches and pains and loose ligaments. Ahhh, pregnancy.

I finally went in to see a doctor about my headaches, since they've been especially bad recently, even keeping me home and back with my head in the toilet. I figured there's not a whole lot they can do - I had to quit PT because getting up early to became almost more debilitating for me, since I work 11-7 and have my set schedule, complete with 11 hours of sleep a night (which never ends up being a whole 11 hours, now that I wake up almost hourly and often spend an hour or two just lying there, feeling bloated and nauseous - this at only 4 months!). Well, obviously she can't give me anymore meds, but she did recommend some vitamins (B2 and Magnesium). But the most exciting thing is, they have walk-in chair massage and acupressure on Mondays and Thursdays. Since I was already late to work, and would miss most of my lunch, I sat down in the chair and let them work on my neck, which was quite pleasant. The doctor said there's no copay for walk-ins (wow!), but the front desk people said they'd have to call my insurance about it (of course).

My back has also become really bad, mainly just above my back hips, so it hurts to walk and sleep at night, even on our Tempur-Pedic mattress. Unfortunately there's not much she could do there (except the acupressure, which they couldn't get to in time for me), because my ligaments and joints are all loosening up, getting ready to push baby through (which is now making me quite a bit more unsteady, and I never was the most graceful one). But she did give me a few back exercises to do, and I finally booked myself a prenatal massage on Saturday, getting my hips feeling good for some dancing in Jamaica next week!

So yeah, I'm still a mess, but I'm getting some stuff done to take care of it. And more than anything I'm still feeling blessed and excited right now. There's so much to be done in the coming months, particularly finding an apartment pretty much the week we get back from Jamaica ASAP, while our current landlord parades potential renters through our place, causing me too much stress (though I booked my massage Saturday when he brings the most people through and takes over), registering for baby stuff and outfitting the place, but in the end it will be amazing.

Flutters?

So I think I might possibly be feeling the baby move. It's only happened a handful of times or so when I'm lying down or sitting still. Hard to tell because when I put my hands on my belly I can feel all the blood pumping to it from my heart. But at other moments out of the blue I'll feel something and think "was that it? No, couldn't be... but that's what they say it's supposed to feel like..." It's sort of like if you're lying very still in the bathtub so the water is not moving at all. Then you twitch a finger or a toe and there's a slight ripple that moves to another part of your body. But this is going on inside my body, and very quickly. And of course it's not incredibly different from mild gas or a stomach growling slightly, although my stomach is higher up now and my intestines are being shoved back, so I'm pretty sure the feeling is coming from the baby's locale.

I'm 19 weeks, 1 day at this point. So right around the time I might start feeling it. I've gone on a couple pregnancy boards for others due in January (which I can only stand for so long - so many posts are regarding aggrevating in-laws or mothers by hormonal pregnant women, and I can't deal with too much complaining, particularly when I want to be the center of my own universe at this point with my own pregnancy issues) and there are women worrying because they started to feel movement and now haven't in a week and think something might be wrong. I'm just trying to chill about the whole thing, because I know soon enough I'll be so huge and uncomfortable, and one swift kick to the rib will leave me out of breath and longing either for the days where it was too small to feel or, more likely, wanting desperately to get it out.

Hybrid diapers!

I've got to thank our friend Christian for her awesome blog that introduced me to gDiapers. They're not cloth diapers, not disposable, but an earth-friendly hybrid (all according to their site, which I've looked at extensively).

We likely won't have a washer or dryer in our building (somewhat rare in this city), and will most likely continue to do the drop-off service at the local laundromat when we move, so cloth diapers aren't really an option (yes, we could do the whole sink or bathtub wash and air dry, but this is NYC - there's so little room to even hang up clotheslines in apartments here!). And I just can't in good conscience only go with disposables (though I'm sure there will be exceptions to the rule.

I've looked at some of the reviews online - pretty much a love/hate product. Love for the environmental factors (other than the fact that it does require flushing, which uses water for the 10 or so changes a day, but we try to abide by "if it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down" anyways); hate because they take a little extra time to use and they leak if you don't get the fit just right. Having worked a lot with babies (and twin infants, at that), I think I'll have a slightly easier time than some new parents in getting the speedy thing down, I'm not afraid of poop (having worked with children and adults with disabilities and changed diapers/Depends on individuals from 0-65), and I know that even the best-placed diaper will have it's leak now and again when the baby has an occasional explosion.

Anyhow, we've got another 5 or so months until we get to try them out, but I'm so anxious to do it!

Too hot to handle

Jason and I have switched places. Used to be, I was always cold and would cuddle up to him for warmth in the middle of the night. Now even with a fan and air conditioner blowing through the night, I tend to burn up and only use a sheet (because I need something on top to sleep). I'm also not allowed to keep my hand on him for too long - I like to reach over and put it on his shoulder or hand while we're going to sleep, but apparently I'm "as hot as a light bulb" these days.

Inez the cat, on the other hand, is as happy as she's ever been, having found a new spot right next to my pillow (since she can't handle the fact that I turn over every 5 minutes; when staying with my step mom in the hospital after her surgery once on a cot, she amusingly watched me "flip like a fish" every few minutes throughout the night. It's especially important now that my hips get sore after too long, but thank God for our Tempurpedic mattress!). Inez is the one who lies directly against the heater or radiator in the winter and we swear she's going to burst into a furry ball of flames someday. Now if I reach over, she meows and rolls onto her back in ecstasy, something that I should enjoy for the time being. I'm pretty sure we're going to have to enroll her and Sweet Jane into a sibling class for children of expectant mothers to prepare.

Speaking of classes, I'm about to enroll in one at NYU, possibly the only time they'll accept me, and in the medical center of all places! Granted, it's a birthing class and all that's really required is being knocked up (I find that term so appropriate - some days I feel knocked up, down, inside and out!). It's supposed to be a great place to give birth, which is why my OB-GYN delivers there. And I'm happy because, once we live in Astoria, the trip is only 25 minutes, or 40 in rush hour, since it's just one freeway down through Queens, another over and down into Manhattan. The class isn't until December, but they want you to enroll by week 20 since they fill up quickly. I've already started The Big Book of Birth, just because I know it's going to take these next five months to prepare my mind for what's actually going to occur then, and I still haven't decided whether I'm going natural or medicated. I figure it's going to hurt and it's going to suck no matter how I go about it, just depends on how much I want to put myself and/or the baby through!

Those darn Canadians!

So last Friday we went out with my friend Michelle who I haven't seen in 12 years, not since we took a missions trip to Fiji as teenagers. We also met her husband, Joel Auge, who's touring the US and Canada and doing pretty well for himself as a musician! We found a cool Mexican place in Hell's Kitchen that served the best virgin pina coladas I've found so far! We had a great time, and it was so cool to see Michelle after all these years and be so comfortable, hanging out as married peeps.

Now, Michelle and Joel are Canadian, and eventually in discussing the baby and our future plans, somehow we made it to the topic of healthcare. They said they'd heard it's something like $10K to have a baby here, or was for some of their friends (perhaps C-Section, since doctors get it over quickly and get paid more - I refuse to have one unless it's a life and death situation for myself or the baby). Honestly we hadn't thought about the costs of actually having the baby, we've been more involved with moving costs (which we're putting off until October 1) and how much it's going to cost to buy all the baby stuff.

But we do know it's going to cost us. I racked up probably at least $20K in medical bills (thank God for work insurance, and particularly COBRA) for my three stints in the hospital and innumerable tests done last December-April. And I laughed when I read an article recently that the average waiting time in the ER is 30 minutes, which some people think is a lot. Um, my first stay we waiting 4 hours before going into the ER, and spent another 6 or so waiting in there, listening to drug dealers and old men getting catheters in beds next to us, dragging my double-sized, incredibly painful foot to the restroom to pee every 20 minutes. The second time it was a 6 hour wait (this time I was vomiting every 15 minutes in the waiting room restroom), and another 6 hours waiting for my room. And the third we gave up, took an ambulance to bypass the waiting room for a nice little $300+ chauffer fee, waited in the ER 6-7 hours, and then was taken up outside my room which had yet to be cleaned, to wait in the hall on a gurney for 2 hours (at which point my friend Kelsye called from Nashville, where she was touring through the sparkly city, wondering at the sites, and we both laughed because, in contrast, I was lying on a gurney in pain in the hospital!)

But I digress, as usual.

So we started talking about their healthcare, and learned a few things.

Canadians get 12 months maternity/paternity leave paid at 55% of what they would normally make. Their employers also must, by law, hold their position for them until they return. The time can be divided up between the mother and father - eg. they can each take 6 months, one can take 3 months and the other 9, etc. And if the one decides not to continue working at the end, it doesn't matter, they'll still get paid. In fact, Michelle quit her job to be Joel's tour manager a few months ago and learned she can still get paid 55% her previous salary. In addition, the government basically pays families when they have more children. Correct me if I'm wrong, Michelle (if you're reading this), but they have friends that have a few kids and get at least $1000 (I want to say $1600, but I may be overshooting) a month just to help care for their children!

Universal healthcare is often sneared at by most conservatives (and I love you, conservative parents and in-laws!!!) because of perceptions of it. Granted, it does take longer to get an appointment to see a doctor, sometimes 6 weeks. Though in the article mentioned above (and unfortunately I'm not finding it again, though type in "ER waiting times longer" and you'll find many others), the U.S. doctor commenting on ER wait times suggested that part of the problem is patients can't get in to see their primary care physician when they first get sick, leading them to the ER, and he himself had to often wait as long as 6 weeks to get in to see his! Living in New York, I sympathize, though my OB/GYN almost always has a slot for me, perhaps due to the nature of his job and, I'm hoping, he only takes on so many pregnant patients at once. My primary care doctor, on the other hand, can take a few weeks if it's not an emergency. Joel and Michelle mentioned that often people on the border of Canada will go to US doctors, after buying cheap tourist insurance (available at pretty much any store in town; in Sicko I believe it was a Sears, since Canadians can't afford to get sick in the US) to visit, and US doctors love them, because they know their government is good for it!

People here are worried that taxes will go way up if we instate universal healthcare. Um, we pay some 25-30% in taxes (I believe - remember I've got pregnancy brain so I'm not intentionally trying to throw off numbers, but I don't think I am, when you calculate FICA, Social Security, property taxes, sales taxes, etc.), and so do Canadians. Joel also co-owns an internet company outside of his life as a musician. He and his co-owner pay about $160 a month for any incidentals their 5 employees (including themselves and Michelle) incur for medical expenses. He was saying that if he lived in the US, it would be pretty much impossible to give healthcare to their employees.

So, they get paid to take a break to have a baby. They get paid monthly to raise children. They don't pay for their employees to have healthcare in general, and pay minimally on additional medical bills. But they do have to sometimes wait longer to see a doctor. Still, I think I'm ready to trade.

3D baby!

We had another ultrasound today, and this time got 3D! Apparently mothers often don't want to see the 3D at this point because it looks so strange, but that's only to be expected. I think it looks so cool either way. Again, (s)he was very stubborn, and wouldn't move its hand from its face during the 3D, and she again had to go in the other way when it wouldn't turn to show us its spine. Of course we'd just woken it from a nap, so it was stretching and making itself comfortable, not entirely caring about the world around.

She had us look away when she looked at its legs, since it had them crossed. I asked if she could tell the sex and she said "yes, I took a look". Its sort of exciting that someone out there knows, but it's definitely taking all my willpower not to find out!


- Has its hand covering its face here. Very stubborn - (s)he would not move it no matter what we did!


- I think it looks like the Swedish Chef or one of the midget Muppets from The Labyrinth here. It of course has eyes, but it moves so much and the imaging makes it hard to get a perfect picture every time.


- Profile shot of the face.


- Profile shot, but (s)he's looking slightly away from the camera.

Photos finally!

-14 weeks, 5 days


- 15 weeks, 5 days


- Jason says I look pregnant, but I still feel like I'm at that in-between phase where I just look kind of chubby, especially since my arms and chest are growing a bit to match. I did feel good today, though, when a coworker found out I am pregnant for the first time and said "I couldn't tell, you're just gorgeous!" Totally sweet! I don't know if I'm that pretty in these pics, since I'd just gotten up from a nap and we were running to our favorite neighborhood digs, Bar Toto, but mom's been asking for belly shots, so here they are!